Connections

I figured it would be better if I wrote my thoughts down, instead of trying to find someone to listen.

I don't know if I'm the only one who goes through this, but I tend to feel the loneliest when I have people around me. Something in me is always craving a deeper connection. I'm learning to navigate the truth; that not everyone is worth connecting with. That some people you meet for a moment, and others, you meet again everyday. What I mean is that there are some connections not worth putting effort into, and others so beautiful because you get to watch the person grow. It's like meeting the same person a million times, and being there to witness them become their true self.

The scary part about connections that I always forget to consider is how empty I feel when they come to an end. I love meeting people and hearing their stories, but knowing that I'll long for that once they're gone stops me from engaging in conversations that I otherwise would be excited to engage in.

But then again, maintaining connections is "a lot of work". That's a side of them I'm yet to experience because that part is so easy for me. I'm learning to accept that not everyone is like that. People don't call or text each other when they miss each other. They don't spontaneously visit each other, or spend time together. People plan. They make plans for the future, then cancel them closer to the time.

So yes, little me really wants to reach out, but big me doesn't want to have to deal with disappointment. I can't exactly expect everyone to be like me, but I think I can expect reciprocation, right? Is it wrong to expect the same 'effort' I put in to be reflected back? Or am I too hopeful?

Maybe that's something to think about. What's holding you back from connecting to people you care about, or strangers that interest you?

Be bold. Happy living, adventurous living!